Stop fucking with that deep-fried ramen and its foil-wrapped flavor fibs.
This soup is perfect for when you feel a cold coming on but your ass is
too worn out to cook. Take the few extra minutes to make this and put
that ramen back in your zombie apocalypse kit where it fucking belongs
MAKES 2 BIG-ASS BOWLS OR 4 SIDES
4 inches fresh ginger
2 big cloves garlic
6 cups vegetable broth or water
10 sprigs cilantro*
NOODLES AND VEGGIES
8 ounces soba, udon, or rice noodles
¼ teaspoon soy sauce or tamari
1¼ cups broccoli cut into bite-size pieces
1½ teaspoons red miso paste**
1 carrot, cut into thin matchsticks
1 cup snow peas cut into matchsticks
1⁄3 cup thinly sliced green onions
Your favorite condiments***
1 To make the broth, peel the ginger by scraping the skin off with a spoon. Cut the ginger
into ¼-inch-thick slices. Thickly slice the garlic too and chop the carrot into big chunks. Grab
a medium pot and turn the heat on to medium. Once the pot is hot, add the ginger and carrot
chunks and let those fuckers go on the bottom of the pot with no oil or anything. Keep
stirring them around off and on for 2 minutes. It’s cool if they stick, just rip them off with the
spoon and keep going. Now add the garlic and do the same shit for another minute. Pour in
the broth or water, add the cilantro, and let that veggie hot tub simmer for 15 minutes.
2 While the broth is doing its thing, cook the noodles according to the package directions.
3 When the broth has simmered 15 minutes, pull out all the ginger, garlic, carrot, and cilantro
with a slotted spoon. Add the soy sauce and broccoli and simmer for a minute or two until the
broccoli has lost its raw edge, then turn off the heat. Scoop up ½ cup of the broth and dissolve
the miso paste in it, stirring until the chunks are gone. Pour that back in the pot and give it all
a taste. Fucking great, right?
4 To assemble, grab a handful of the noodles and place them at the bottom of a bowl. Add a
handful of the carrots, snow peas, and green onions. Ladle the hot broth and broccoli bits over
and let it sit for a minute as the carrots and snow peas soften. Top with some more of the
green onions and some of your favorite condiments.
* Stems and all, bitches.
** WTF? See tip.
*** A squeeze of lime juice, a dash of toasted sesame oil, and a splooge of Sriracha are usually the way to go for
condiments, but you do you.